Thursday, January 23, 2014

Is "Are You the One?" the one to watch? No.

The new MTV show, "Are You the One?" is rated TV-14.  Having viewed the first episode, I can only conclude that it means "inappropriate for anyone with an IQ over 14."

The F-bomb is dropped about 10 times in the first 2 minutes of the show, and then repeatedly throughout, include one deep-thinking young man who says "I want to f*** all the women here." Sure, each one is beeped, but miraculously you can figure it out.

Barely 5 minutes into the show, two of the women are so delighted at the sight of a bed never seen one of those before? that one lies down and spreads her legs in the air, while the other immediately gets on all fours and wags her tail end at the camera (both are clothed). The guys play a stimulating game where they're shown a picture of cleavage and try to guess which of the women it belongs to.

The show features 10 young men and 10 young women stuck together in a large house, and each one is supposed to figure out which person of the opposite sex is his or her "ideal match." The drama is intense: Will the self-infatuated guy find the self-infatuated girl? Will the stupid people pair up? How about the obnoxious drunks?  It won't be easy, since those descriptions apply to multiple cast members.

Early on, the whole group erupts in an excitement when they learn they can win a collective "One million dollars!" on the show.  I wouldn't expect any in this group to do the math, so I'll help them out. This amounts to $50,000 a piece, and really more like $35,000 after taxes (another foreign concept).

Now I wouldn't turn up my nose at $35,000 if it fell in my lap, but for this group to earn that they not only have to match up everyone perfectly, they have endure at least six weeks or so in this house and be exposed as buffoons on national television. Is it worth it? I didn't see anyone walking out.

The real question is why anyone would find someone from this house an "ideal match" in any sense.  After all, there is a technical term for someone who can afford to spend six weeks doing nothing but drinking, bickering, whining and game playing: Unemployed.

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